Survival Skills for Parent/Teacher Conference a.k.a. How to be a Bendable Tree

To: Emily (student teacher intern)

From: Mrs. Applebaume

Hi Emily,

As your mentor, I wanted to give you a little info on what to expect during P/T Conference. Every school has a system. Some have parents move from class to class. Others have all of the teachers at booths in the gym. Our school uses the panel system.

The panel system intends on streamlining the discussion. Parents and teachers get a chance to all meet together to discuss the student. It is hoped that group communication improves the cohesion in the expectations and adaptations of the team of teachers, the student, and the student's parents.

That being said, I want you to know that parents do not expect the panel. Often it takes a moment for them to adjust. If not operated carefully, it can cause anxiety for the parent (and student if they attend).

My first P/T conf. was highly stressful. I found myself empathizing with the nervous parents. I listened to the words, tone, and posture of my peers with great care. When I saw a mother sitting calmly, but her hands were so tightly clenched that her fingers were white, I got a bit dizzy. When I saw another mother cry about the sick sibling that requires all of her time, I began picking at my fingernails. When I entered at the tail-end of another team's panel and the the father was pacing, the mother was crying, and the boy was rocking........I was glad I was not on that team.

Looking at our schedule, we will have a busy thirteen hour day on Thursday. Each appointment is usually scheduled for twenty minutes. This time we are allotting thirty, so that will be a bit easier. Friday will simply be walk-ins.

So what do you do? Plant your feet firmly on the ground. When things are tense, visualize your feet becoming tree roots digging down deep. You are only responsible for you. Sit quietly. This is your chance to be a fly on the wall. I look forward to finding out what you learn.

To: Mrs. Applebaume

From: Emily

Since I had to leave at 9:00 p.m. sharp, we weren't able to visit. Instead, I wrote my observations while fresh in my mind.

• How did the school not mention that Jill L. was diagnosed A.D.H.D. and legally deaf in her left ear? It was an in-district transfer.
• I was surprised that Raul R. only learned English a year and a half ago. It explains his awkward sentence structure. Are we supposed to do anything for him? He is so quiet.
• Why didn't your panel mention that Shaylynn K. would benefit from therapy. The mother seemed at a loss.
• Did you notice the T-shirt that the Native American father was wearing? Was that on purpose? If you missed it, it said "America's first Homeland Security"!

I hope that I am not out of line. I truly appreciate the opportunity to observe. I can't wait to take this back to my classes.

Thanks,

Emily

To: Emily

From: Mrs. Applebaume

Hi Emily,

I am sorry that we didn't get a chance to visit last night...the parents were talkers. I understood that you had homework waiting for you. My kids needed to be picked up as well. It has been a long day/night for us all.

I will go down the list of the questions you wrote out.

• I believe you would agree that spending a little time with Jill L. makes it pretty clear that she is easily distracted. The A.D.H.D. diagnosis legally mandates me to accommodate for her needs. This will not change much of what I am already doing.
  It is always nice to know when a student is deaf...even in one ear. It explains her volume. I will move her to the other side of the room, so her good ear will be facing me instead of the window. It is difficult having her in such a large group.
  In that hour, I have three students with A.D.H.D., two E.S.L. (English as Second Language) students, and one student with anger issues that require an adult tracker to stay with him. It is a tricky hour.

As for the question of the transfer papers not showing up. I am not privy to how confidential records are moved. Trust that I will make some inquiries.

• Raul R. was a surprise to me too. He is a quiet one, but he is so alert that I would not have guessed that he was so new to the English language. Since he is in a class with two official E.S.L. students (not to mention four others who speak Spanish at home) we are in a good position. However, since he has spoken the language for over a year, he is not legally required to have adaptations.
• Shaylynn K. would benefit from therapy. Here is the truth. If any person working for the district suggest that the mother seek help, we are legally responsible for the cost of care. The district can not afford to offer such help. Now, how crazy is that? The mother will find her way. She is asking questions. She will find answers elsewhere.
• I did notice the Jr.'s father's provocative T-shirt. I want you to also notice that there were very few pairs of parents that showed up together. It is nice to see that much support coming from home. Plus, Jr.'s grades are good, and they still wanted to meet with us...not bad. As for the T-shirt. It was painful and hilarious, and that is my favorite kind of performance art

You did well Emily. Thanks for making it the whole thirteen hours.

I will see you in the morning.